“It wraps it’s palms around my throat
and forces me to stay in bed.
It chokes me out until I turn blue.
Then I realize I’m looking
at my own hands.”
- m.brady
TW: There is a condition called “executive dysfunction” that often makes it difficult for people to manage daily tasks. These people often get accused of being lazy. If that might be you, read this post with caution and compassion for yourself, understanding I am talking about laziness and not executive dysfunction. You are seen.
Being Lazy: How Does It Happen?
Let’s be real: nobody wants to be lazy. Even lazy people will do whatever possible to dismiss claims of laziness, arguing that there is one reason or another that makes their lack of motivation acceptable.
At it’s core, that is what laziness truly is. It is a lack of motivation to make change. Without the commitment to real, actual change, laziness sets in.
Before we go any deeper into what laziness is and how we can change it, we need to understand where it can come from. Without dismantling our beliefs, we cannot move forward in a conversation about how to change something that most people refuse to believe they are behaving in.
How does laziness grow roots in our lives? Some reasons include:
Not being taught any different. This was, personally, the biggest reason laziness integrated itself into my life. My father had been a very lazy person and, rather than being taught things, I was left to my own devices. As a child, I mimicked what I saw and it took me a long, long time to realize that was the main and possibly only reason I had suffered from laziness and procrastination for so long.
A general lack of motivation. This in itself can happen for a lot of reasons. Sometimes it happens because we’re content with life just how it is. Sometimes it happens because we don’t care so much about anything at all.
A major life event alters our usual routines. Death, loss, or change can be huge motivators to turn a not lazy person into a lazy person.
Predisposition to laziness. Whether it be through hereditary illness, physical or mental, there are conditions that obviously have lack of motivation or fatigue as symptoms. For the people who fall in this category, please bear in mind that while this article may help you, it may not fix everything.
Those four core reasons are the primary root causes for laziness integrating itself into our lives. We have to acknowledge these reasons and honestly, we have to validate them. These are all valid reasons for suffering from a lack of motivation. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
However, we must also take the time to recognize that as human beings, we are stronger than what may happen to us or what we are born with. We have the power to change; it is in all of our DNA, regardless of race or gender. Changing is something human beings are born to do.
If you’re so smart, how do we change it then?
To be honest, it took me a really long time to get to this point. Putting a stop to my laziness is a recent habit that I’ve only taken up in the past couple months; I feel like that needs to be said here. I am not a professional laziness-eliminator. I am just a writer who has found something that works for them.
For myself, I have been using the One Minute Method for eliminating laziness.
It goes a little like this:
I see something that needs to be done. My knee jerk reaction is almost always, “Eh, I can do that later.”
As soon as I check myself thinking that thought, I stop and ask myself: “How long is this going to take me to do?”
If it’s going to take me less than a minute, I force myself to do it. I usually feel much better after it’s done anyways; it’s the motivating myself to do it part that gets in the way.
If it’s going to take longer, I try to estimate out how long it’s going to take. I regularly push my intervals up. Right now, I’ve got myself up to ten minutes, meaning if I’m not busy and it’ll take less than ten minutes, I make myself do the thing.
To be fair, most things I’ve found myself wanting to be lazy about don’t even come close to taking ten minutes long. It’s actually begun to make me feel rather silly; I’d spent all this time putting things off, and in the long run I can’t even remember what I was doing that was so important that I had to push those things off.
This method may not work for everyone. But, it certainly works for me.
I do have some other things you can try, since everyone is different:
Try making a list of things you see that need to be done. It doesn’t matter how long it is; list everything. Based on how many items you have, set a goal to do anywhere from 1-3 of those things a day. Before you know it, it’ll feel easier and easier to get shit done.
Ask for help. This is a really underrated one and I think it comes from people who are not inherently lazy, but are lazy on certain tasks because they need time to recover from all the tasks they’re regularly doing. My mother is a great example of this for me: As a single mom, she was ALWAYS hustling. Never a moment in life where this woman wasn’t busy; I am forever grateful for her for it. However, our house was always a mess. That stemmed, in my opinion, from her unwillingness to ask for help. As children, we didn’t really learn when something needed to be done because… as silly as it sounds… we were never told to do it. It wasn’t until we got older and developed our own sense of motivation that this even changed a little. So, if you find yourself being lazy on certain tasks because you work really hard in other areas, don’t beat yourself up: Ask. For. Help. I know I wish my mom had.
Similar to making a list, categorize things. Whether it’s categorizing areas of your house or categorizing areas of your life, make sections of things that need to be done and dedicate different days to those sections. You’ll thank yourself for it in the long run.
I’m not sure I’m really being “lazy"“… How can I tell if I am?
I’m glad you asked!
If you had told me six months ago, “Hey, you’re kind of lazy,” I would’ve scoffed and probably gotten frustrated and said, “I’m literally about to graduate college and I’m writing a book, you don’t know anything and you’re honestly being kind of mean.”
However, I should’ve recognized the signs of laziness a lot sooner and I wish I had. Some of the things I should have seen that I didn’t included:
The impact it had on my relationships. People would get frustrated with me, and rather than putting myself in their shoes, I would get frustrated back. It was an honest mistake and the nice thing about mistakes is that we can learn from them. However, yes, this absolutely had an impact on my relationships.
The Itch. I call it that because that’s how it felt; like, I was sitting there relaxing but I had so much buzzing in the back of my head. I needed to do something… and there were things I could have done! But I didn’t like them, so I didn’t do them. I wish I had; those moments were simply wasted as I don’t even recall what I chose to do instead.
Stuff going missing, like, a lot. I was constantly losing stuff. I didn’t realize it then, but now I can clearly see that stuff was going missing as a result of my not having any organizational skills or effort put into where I put things at all.
Sadness. Yeah, it sounds weird, but I was sad a lot more when I was being lazy. In a way, I think they fed off each other. If I had to break either habit, it was considerably easier to stop being as lazy than it would have been to try and be less sad. With my laziness eroding, I actually started to feel more proud of myself, which in turn ate away at my sadness. It can be a way to break a lot of other toxic cycles that are much harder to snap out of.
Another thing that really helped me once I broke out of this cycle was coming up with things that would motivate me to put a stop to my laziness.
For me, this included: bettering myself and my quality of life; making the people around me happier; and being able to say I was contributing to the community around me in a more positive way.
What motivates you will be different. Maybe you want a better quality of life for your dog or your kids. Maybe you just want to change. Whatever it is, cling to it and use it as your excuse to not be lazy every single time.
It might not be perfect. But, it can be better.
Could you be less lazy?
Are you a lazy person?
Is it maybe, possibly, just-a-little-bit impacting your life?
What can you do about it?
I leave you with these thoughts of reflection and a little kiss on the forehead. You’re doing great.
I’ll see you next Monday!
M. Brady